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Sex Jokes and Humour Article:
The death of a marriage must be mourned like any other lost relationship. It is often experienced as a death of family .....
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. P.J. ORourk
Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if youre not good at them. Kevin Costner, Tin Cup
The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that theres nobody to talk to during an orgasm. Author Unknown
Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotics Notebook, 1960
When you are tired and stressed it take its toll on your body and one of the first things to .....
Im not cheap, but I am on special this week. Author Unknown
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke? Rita Rudner
When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities. Matt Groening
Dont worry, it only seems kinky the first time. Author Unknown
Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and youre going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love. Butch Hancock
"If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter." George Carlin
The art of life lies in taking pleasures as they pass, and the keenest pleasures are not intellectual, nor are they always moral. Aristippus
I think I could fall madly in bed with you. Author Unknown
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs less. Brendan Francis, Playboy
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken. Author Unknown
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation. Lily Tomlin
Conservatives say teaching sex education in the public schools will promote promiscuity. With our education system? If we promote promiscuity the same way we promote math or science, theyve got nothing to worry about. Beverly Mickins
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Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation... The other eight are unimportant. Henry Miller
Pussy Galore: My name is Pussy Galore. James Bond: I must be dreaming. Goldfinger
There are ways of stopping attacks of sexual harassment, either by yourself or with the .....
Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind. In the nineteenth century it was a disease; in the twentieth, its a cure. Thomas Szasz
Sexual intercourse is kicking death in the ass while singing. Charles Bukowski
Free Hughy? No! Free Porn Unknown (60s)
If we define porn as any message from any communication medium that is intended to arouse sexual excitement, then it is clear that most advertisements are covertly pornographic. Philip Slater quotes
There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats. Elton John
Its very difficult to fail at porn. Michael Chabon quotes
Sex without love is merely healthy exercise. Robert Heinlein
I love sex. Its free and doesnt require special shoes. (Anonymous)
Porn is the unconsciousness of culture, the libido of humanity." Unknown quotes
I think sex is better than logic, but I cant prove it. (Anonymous)
Tell him Ive been too fucking busy - or vice versa. Dorothy Parker
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the .....
"In high school, I dressed up as every James Bond girl. I was a teenage Pussy Galore." Winona Rider
Its avowed purpose is to excite sexual desire, which, I should have thought, is unnecessary in the case of the young, inconvenient in the case of the middle aged, and unseemly in the old. Malcolm Muggeridge, on porn, Tread Softly For You Tread On My Jokes
I read so many bad things about sex that I had to give up reading. Anonymous
Some mornings, its just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Emo Phillips
Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. Its staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. Casey Stengel
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting. Gloria Leonard
Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn" Dave Berry
It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins. Chinese Proverb
Chastity: The most unnatural of the sexual perversions. Aldous Huxley, Eyeless in Gaza, 1936
Theres only one good test of pornography. Get twelve normal men to read the book, and then ask them, Did you get an erection? If the answer is Yes from a majority of the twelve, then the book is porn. W. H. Auden
Joe: Do you think that piece of jewelry the Arwen gives Aragorn is a artistic representation of elf pussy? Tim: To me pretty much everything is an artistic representation of pussy. Alright alright.....unless its part of a dude.
Obscenity is whatever gives the Judge an erection. Author Unknown
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The good thing about masturbation is that you dont have to get dressed up for it. Truman Capote
"Theres no shortage of pussy- its just the delivery system thats messed up." Dr. Roy V. Schenk
"Masturbation is like procrastination, its all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself."
Where did it all begin this Perfume and Sex Business'
We all have our very own Special Scent. We give .....
The tragedy is when youve got sex in the head instead of down where it belongs. D.H. Lawrence
Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin - its the triumphant twang of a bedspring. S.J. Perelman
There is nothing like early promiscuous sex for dispelling lifes bright mysterious expectations. Iris Murdoch
This is paradise, Im tellin ya. This town like a great big pussy just waiting to get fucked. Tony Montana (Scarface)
Im all for bringing back the birch, but only between consenting adults. Gore Vidal
A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. Karl Kraus
No one has ever died from an overdose of porn. J. Money and P. Tucker
Love aint nothing but sex misspelled. Harlan Ellison
My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one. Bob Hope
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